What I Use Every Night to Sleep Better (Even With Midnight Caregiving)

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Y’all, my sleep routine is absolutely necessary for my lifestyle. Caring for Britni means I have to be as rested as I can be, even though I’m up at least twice a night—switching out a monkey bear, taking her to potty, giving her water… whatever the shift requires.

One night she awakened, yelling “Omma!” with urgency. I went to her room and she put her finger up in the air. I turned the light on thinking perhaps it was bleeding for some reason, or maybe she’d jammed it somehow. No, she had a rough fingernail. I had to go get an emery board and file it smooth. Can’t blame her. That would’ve driven me nuts, too.

So yeah, my sleep is interrupted (which I don’t mind one bit), but I’ve built an environment that helps me fall back asleep quickly and get quality rest until my next summons from my wild-haired beauty in the next room. We spend about a third of our lives in bed–we might as well make those hours count.

(Interestingly, as a side note, Britni likes no blankets and no pillows. So she has a lot fewer requirements than I.)

If you’re looking for a few “tools” to help you get better sleep, here’s what’s turned my nights into an “A” game.

Motivational quote 'sleep more' on a minimalist speckled surface. — Yes, sleep more!

My Bed Space

Linenspa 3″ Gel Swirl Memory Foam Topper https://amzn.to/4a5jPRg Cooling gel, pressure-relieving, CertiPUR Certified, and thousands of solid ratings.

I truly didn’t think I’d like memory foam until we stayed at a swanky loft Airbnb in Bristol, Virginia. The day we got home, I ordered this. My pressure-point pain? Gone. It’s not hot, it doesn’t swallow you whole, and I honestly wonder why it took me decades to invest in one.

Adjustable Memory Foam Pillows https://amzn.to/4iR5IRG Shredded memory foam pillows you can customize. By unzipping and removing some filling, I turned that 2-pack into four pillows. One for my head, one to hug, one between my knees (stack those hips!), and one behind me. Yes, Robbie still has room on the bed. Barely. But he does. 😂

Satin Pillowcases https://amzn.to/3MVAPQ8 Smooth, zippered satin pillowcases with great reviews. I use these on the pillow I sleep on.
If you’re curious why satin is so popular for hair and skin, here’s a helpful breakdown from Good Housekeeping:
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home-products/a28037094/silk-pillowcases-benefits/

Feather & Stitch 500TC Cotton Sheets https://amzn.to/4ac5FxU Soft, breathable cotton sheets with 18″ deep pockets, top/bottom tags, and French pillowcase closures. They wash up beautifully and feel like luxury hotel bedding without the hotel bill.

Utopia Bedding Cotton Blanket https://amzn.to/44jlajQ A lightweight, breathable, soft cotton blanket. I keep one or two on the bed depending on the season for layering.

Weighted Blanket https://amzn.to/3MSxv8q I use this on top of my other blankets. If you’re interested in the research behind weighted blankets, here’s an NIH study you can read: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11056563/
Certain people can benefit a lot, and some should avoid them, so it’s worth checking that out. A common guideline is to choose around 10% of your body weight.

In the Room

Oscillating Fan on the Dresser https://amzn.to/4pu5cvx I keep a fan on the dresser that both tilts and oscillates. I don’t like air blowing straight on me all night, so I aim it “just so” across the room. It keeps the air moving without feeling like I’m sleeping in a wind tunnel.

Yogasleep Dohm Classic White Noise Machine https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HD0ELFK?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.U82Z3C2BHZSK&linkCode=tr1&tag=304inthehouse-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.U82Z3C2BHZSK_1765469945418
This makes me sleep so soundly that I don’t use it unless Britni is at her Momaw & Popaw’s house. I don’t think it’d prevent me from hearing her, but I don’t want to chance it.

This is real fan sound, not a looped recording. The tone and volume are adjustable, and it gives that steady whoosh my brain likes at night, and it sits right on my nightstand. I’ve tried apps and cheaper machines—this is the one I keep coming back to. And when we travel for our YouTube channel, I take it with me.

LEVOIT 6L Cool Mist Humidifier https://amzn.to/3YkpATV Top-fill, quiet sleep mode, works with an app, and runs through the night without fuss. Winter air in Appalachia is dry, and this keeps the bedroom from feeling like a desert. And if you have houseplants, this amazing thing helps you care for them via the app–win/win!

My Nightly Skincare Essentials

Estée Lauder Revitalizing Supreme+ Night Power Bounce Cream https://amzn.to/4q2Gl1K Listen. This one is the treat-yourself moment of my whole routine. It’s thick without being greasy, bouncy without being sticky, and my skin just drinks it in. The peptides do their thing overnight, and by morning, everything looks smoother, firmer, and just… happier.
It’s one of those creams that makes you tilt your head in the mirror like, “Okay… alright… she’s still got it.”
If you’ve been looking for something that actually feels like it’s doing something, this is the one that earned its spot on my nightstand.

Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Eye Supercharged Gel-Cream https://amzn.to/3KLCdEk Lightweight but powerful — a little “bounce gel” that tackles the dark circles and puffiness that come with being up at 2 a.m. swapping out a monkey bear or filing a rogue fingernail. It sinks in quickly, doesn’t sting, and makes my eyes look less “I’ve been up three times” and more “she got some rest.” When I skip it, I can tell. When I use it, I look alive again.

L’Oreal Collagen Daily Moisturizer https://amzn.to/4acL8cw If you’re not a skincare connoisseur, or if you’re looking for a more economical choice that still delivers, this one is a great pick. I especially use it on my neck — it feels like my skin takes a long, cool drink of water and just relaxes. It’s simple, reliable, and does exactly what I need it to.

NIVEA Essentially Enriched Body Lotion https://amzn.to/4j0qAX2
Thick, comforting lotion made for very dry skin. I’m a dry-skinned gal, and this one actually sticks around instead of disappearing 10 minutes later.

If You’re a Bath Person

Micro Ingredients Magnesium Flakes https://amzn.to/4rQnKaX
These flakes are wonderful for foot soaks or baths and are a great alternative to Epsom salt — which isn’t actually “salt” at all, it’s magnesium sulfate. Magnesium flakes (magnesium chloride) tend to absorb better and feel more soothing.

Some folks shouldn’t use magnesium this way, so please check with your doctor first. But if it’s safe for you, these make a noticeable difference in how relaxed you feel crawling into bed afterward.

Wrapping It Up

So that’s my set-up. Nothing fancy, nothing curated by a designer—just the things that make my nights calmer and my mornings possible.

If you’ve already found what works for your sleep, I’d love to hear about it. I’m always curious about other people’s “creature comforts” and little rituals that make life easier.

And if you try any of my picks, let me know how they work for you. I love hearing when something I share becomes a new favorite for someone else.

Thank you, truly, for reading, for being here, and for anyone who chooses to shop through my links. Every little bit helps me stay home with Britni, and that is a gift I don’t take for granted.

Here’s to softer sheets, better sleep, and waking up ready for whatever the next midnight summons brings. 🩵

Significance

If my eyes were closed, I’d feel like I was on my side porch in the summer, listening to the rain, the swing gently swaying front…back…front…back…

And as I watched her, I think she was thinking the same.

The Queen has had a few weeks of absolute astuteness (is there such a word?) She’s been awesome in letting me know what she needs & wants. Fuzzy socks. Her sunglasses cleaned. The car window down because she smells a dead skunk.

No worries, chinquapin, we rollin’ all four down!

She’s also seemed wired up, as I say. Full speed ahead. Rare form. Active.

Not bad things, mind you. Just “on” things.

So, I accommodate.

Night time routines

This evening, I readied her for bed. I collected her pj’s, a fresh towel, washcloth, and changed her bed sheet, while she sat on the potty reading a 13-month-old edition of my Harvard Business Review.

It was bath time.

Every time for the past few decades, I’ve had two methods of bath time: let the water run to warm, lift her into the tub, and remove the wand to rinse her while she sits in the tub; or fill the tub, add Epsom salt, baking soda, and lavender oil, and hold my arms under her to give her buoyancy to aid in the relaxation, then rinse accordingly.

But tonight…tonight I was going to let her experience something new.

A shower.

I stood her and stepped her over into the tub, the shower head spraying a rainstorm (that’s the setting) into the tub. Instead of sitting her down, I let her stand. Back to the spray. Water pitterpatterpitterpattering on her, warm water running down her head, to her back, shoulders, to her arms, and exiting out of her fingers that positioned themselves in front of her, tip-to-tip on each hand, as if instructing the droplets where to go.

Stillness.

She tilted her head slightly back and closed her eyes. I just knew she was relishing the feeling of the water cascading down her shoulders to the tips of her fingers. She stood silent. Motionless.

And I let her relish.

I was, too.

The power of water

We stood for 3 minutes. Then 5. Then 8. I worried that the water would turn cold. Or my arms would grow weak. Or her legs would give out. The water seemed to turn into tiny, rubber beads that bounced off her now caramel-colored hair. They ricocheted in unison. A cadence formed as we stood, her with her eyes closed, hands out with palms facing toward her, my hands and arms holding her weight…so she could experience what we all (at least most) have. I noticed her eyes closed, and a contented smile on her face as she soaked in her standing-shower experience. And I….became lost in the moment…my shirt soaked…my jeans now stuck to my legs.

It was bedtime.

I turned her, sat her down, and bathed her like I’ve done the past three decades. She was pliable, mellow, smiling, and what I perceived as happy for enjoying her first shower. Once finished, I stepped her over the side of the tub, dried her, lotioned and powdered her, combed her hair, sprayed it with Pravana (how’d she become so bougie??) and donned her in her cozy pjs—a combo of a t-shirt/sweatshirt and long-johns/fuzzy pants. And fuzzy socks. Have to have fuzzy socks.

To bed she goes. Teeth brushed. Drink of water. Monkey bear presented. Prayers said. Kisses given. Obligatory photos & videos…

“Yes, you’re beautiful,” I tell her. She feels prissy, and fresh, and relaxed and calm and Zen-like.

And I’m all emotional.

Thirty-one and-a-half years and she has her first shower. I’m thankful that He shows me the “little” things that can make a huge difference. The “little” things that bring huge joy.

I know I’ll never see mine the same….

Thank you, God, for making the seemingly insignificant so significant. It really does matter.

Middle-of-the-Night Awakenings & Unexpected Gifts

She talks in her sleep. Not very often, but she definitely talks in her sleep. I hear her on the baby monitor as clearly as if she were lying in bed with me. What does she say? “Muh-muh” which, when translated, means “cereal”. So, apparently the Queen has frequent dreams about her cream of wheat with butter & cinnamon, oatmeal with brown sugar and toast, and—because she is my daughter, afterall—Boo Berry.

Then there are occasions where she’s fully awake & talking. A typical night finds me summoned to her room with a drawn out “Ommmmmaaaaa” to take her to the potty, or bring her some water, or find her Meer that she’s dropped & can’t find because it’s dark, or file a jagged fingernail that she discovered at 2:30 a.m.

Or all the above.

Last night, we had both. She awakened and called out for me. “Ommmmmaaaaaa,” she said. I hopped out of bed, opened her door, and asked, “What do you need, Punkin’?” From the darkness, she says, “Meer”(I leave the light off so as not to wake her up even more.) I’m usually awakened by the sound of her mirror hitting her wood floor or bouncing off the baseboards, but this time, I’d heard nothing. Deductive reasoning told me the Meer was still on her bed, but out of reach for her to find in the dark.

It was.

I handed it to her, kissed her mouth then gave her a sideways kiss on the dip above the bridge of her nose between her eyebrows. “Night-night, I love you,” I whispered. “Ah nah nah,” she said (that’s Queen-speak for “I love you.”)

I climbed back into bed, fully expecting to be called again. I don’t close my eyes until I hear her rhythmic breathing, which tells me she’s back to sleep. It didn’t take long before that happened, and the cadence lulled me to sleep.

Sometime later, I was awakened again. “Momma,” she said. It was quiet. Clear. I lay still, listening for the familiar sound of stirring as she sits up in bed, which lets me know if I’m needed or if she’s simply talking in her sleep.

Continued silence.

And then, once more, “Momma.” This time, I could hear her smiling when she said it.

So many times I’ve looked at her & said, “I sure wish I knew what was going through that beautiful, wild-haired head of yours.”

In the early hours of the morning, before the sun had even thought about rising, I did. My daughter was thinking about—dreaming about—me.

Why was this so awesome? Why was this profound?

It was all in the way she said it. I’ve always been “Omma” when she needs me to pick up her Good Housekeeping magazine she’s dropped. Or walk her to the swing. Or feed her lunch. Or when she’s calling for me to watch her play air guitar while her keyboard plays the pre-programmed tunes of “Camptown Ladies.” Doo-dah. Doo-dah.

I am “Momma” when she’s sitting on my lap with her arms around me as I rock her back & forth…back & forth, or when she’s feeling particularly sentimental and gives me kisses me on the forehead. I am “Momma” when she wants to make sure I know she loves me.

So, while lying in bed across the hall from sleeping beauty, I finally was able to know just what was going through that beautiful wild-haired head of hers. I was.

Thank You, Lord. A blessing, indeed.

britnisnooze You can read more about Britni here.

Bedtime Rituals & Hair Brushing

Think about hair for a moment. We wash it. We brush it. We style it. We comb it. We pull it up in a ponytail or hide it under a ball cap. How many times a day do you have to brush your bangs from your eyes? We do it mindlessly. And at the end of the day, some of us take our hair down. Perhaps brush it again just before going to bed.

Now think about not being able to do any of that.

As I readied the Queen for bed tonight, we were going through her nightly ritual. Hands washed. Pajamas on after a slathering of “sleepy” lotion. Two pair of socks–“peh” as she calls them–the bottom layer are cotton, the top are fuzzy. She rubs her pointer finger across her teeth. “No, I’ve not forgotten,” I tell her, as I retrieve her toothbrush. After I brush her teeth and get her a drink of water, I get the hairbrush out of the cabinet.

She’s sitting on the side of her bed now, legs swinging, head down so she can look into her Meer and check her “pearly whites” as I call them.

And I begin to brush her hair.

She doesn’t look up. Instead, she watches me through the Meer, and I see her noticing her hair. It’s particularly shiny tonight, and I’m surprised by how the single light bulb in her ceiling light creates the look of spun gold in her strands.

I make sure her hair isn’t tucked into the collar of her shirt–and I keep brushing. Her legs swinging.

I take my time. Make sure to get from forehead to nape. Temples. Then back again. I lean in and sniff deeply, and am reminded by the citrus-scent that I used extra conditioner during her spa bath. Hence the shine.

Her legs stop swinging. She holds the Meer up and looks at me through it. “Ah na na,” she says. “I love you, too, Punkin.”

“Pretty” she signs, as she looks at her hair. “Yes, your hair is beautiful.”

A giant yawn nearly makes her face disappear and she lies back. I sideways kiss the dip above the bridge of her nose between her eyebrows, & tell her goodnight. I’m humbled. I’m thankful. Those small things that we take for granted, that we do without thinking, my sweet girl can’t do for herself. But I can for her.

And so I do.

You can read more about Britni here.