Back When Asphalt Was Enough

Playgrounds. 

Standing at the kitchen sink waiting for the coffee to brew, my mind did this. 

Tired. Coffee.  Wake up.  Energy. Run.  Freedom.  Thorn school in Princeton. The White Building (those who know know). Recess. 

And I was back on our playground. 

It struck me that we played on asphalt.  Grades K-3 had the “upper playground”, and 4-6 had the “lower playground.”  There was grass at the lower one, but we weren’t allowed to be on it until the end of year picnic, where we’d all sit, eat our bagged lunches, and drink pop that our moms had wrapped in foil (being allowed to bring a pop to school felt like such a privilege). 

What did we do during recess? I remember coming through the doors of the white building, being released into freedom for some 20 minutes, and my friend Jody and I would run a fast lap around the perimeter (we had to burn that energy that had built up while sitting and learning addition, subtraction, and penmanship!). 

We had no jungle gyms. 

Just asphalt, energy, and imagination. 

And sometimes jump ropes. 

I remember playing rollercoaster in first grade.  There was one hill at the playground that we’d run down, all holding on to the backs of each others’ shirts, and the leader got to “make the track” for the rollercoaster. 

On one occasion, I fell pretty hard, put a hole in the leg of my green jeans, scraped up my knee, and Ms. Boyles cleaned and patched me up. 

I thought I was something as everyone gathered around and looked at my injury.  

I earned that. I played tough! 

I then remembered—not sure what year it was enacted—that we were no longer allowed to run on the playground.  Perhaps too many rollercoaster wounds?  Who knows.  But running 

Was 

Not 

Allowed. 

So we skipped really hard.  If we put a little bounce in it and didn’t move our arms much, we could still “run”.  Kinda. 

But what did we do?  Kickball was reserved for special occasions (and oh, it was my favorite!), not recess. We played Four Square.  Hopscotch. What else? 

I remember seeing girls often sitting on the wall at the lower playground—lookin’ all grown & stuff.  Not me.  I had to be moving.  Playing.  Skipping really hard. And once recess was over, we’d get in a line, walk into the building, and each take turns getting drinks out of the water fountains. 

I never did drink enough—I always felt like I was taking too much time and making the people behind me wait too long. 

Sometimes, we couldn’t go outside because of the weather, and we’d play inside.  I remember a red foam ball (not the rubber ones we play dodgeball with—bet you could smell and hear that just by reading it, couldn’t you?), and we’d play “Quiet Ball.”   

We’d get in a circle, the teacher would sit at their desk, and we’d silently throw the ball to the person of our choice. Whoever dropped it had to sit down. 

No talking. 

Just throwing the ball. 

While the teacher had blissful silence for 10 or 15 minutes. 

Pretty smart, Teach’.  

Childhood might have been the greatest exercise in resourcefulness we’ll ever experience. 

 Give a group of kids an empty playground and they’ll invent rollercoasters. 

Give them a ball and they’ll invent rules. 

Give them twenty minutes and they’ll invent memories that still come back fifty years later while standing at a kitchen sink waiting for coffee. 

Somewhere along the way, many of us lost that skill. We started believing we needed the perfect circumstances before we could enjoy ourselves. The right house. The right schedule. More money. More time. Less stress. 

Yet some of the happiest moments of my childhood happened on a slab of asphalt with almost nothing on it. 

Maybe that’s why the memory stayed with me. 

We spent years trying to get off that playground—to grow up, move on, become adults. 

Standing here waiting on coffee, I find myself a little amazed that I can still picture that playground so clearly. 

Not because it was beautiful. 

Not because it was impressive. 

Just because it was ours. 

An asphalt lot where hundreds of ordinary school days happened. 

Maybe that’s all a memory really needs. 

Not a grand event. 

Just enough life packed into it that fifty-some years later, it still knows how to find its way home. 

The Donut Bush

Last night, I dreamed I was back at the house where I grew up in Princeton, West Virginia. Everything looked the way I remembered it. 

Britni was sitting in a lounge chair on the sidewalk in the front yard, enjoying the sunshine while I was over in the side yard meeting our new neighbors, who apparently were billionaires. Dreams just hand you information like that and expect you not to question it…it seems so normal. lol 

While we were talking, I noticed two people walking up the sidewalk toward Britni. I recognized one of them immediately. It was David, the son of my old babysitter, and walking with him was a little girl about 10 years old who I didn’t recognize. 

I started walking over toward them, and without even thinking about it, I reached over to the billionaire lady, put my left arm around her waist and held her right hand with my right hand—the same way I walk with Britni. 

She just went with it. 

Once we got over there, I laughed and said, “Well, my gosh, I’ve been walking you like I do Britni.” 

She didn’t seem bothered by it at all. I just let her go and went to hug the little girl (who I didn’t know, but in my dream, I didn’t know I didn’t know her—you know?) 

I told David how good it was to see him. He said, “I saw where you posted on Facebook that Britni would be sitting out here enjoying the sun, so we wanted to stop by.” 

That felt perfectly normal in the dream. Childhood memories, Facebook posts, old neighbors, present-day life — all of it just blended together. 

Since I didn’t know the billionaire’s name, I said, “Y’all can introduce yourselves,” and she said, “I like gardening and working on cars,” (which honestly made me laugh a little after I woke up, because that sounds less like a billionaire and more like me). 

I said, “Um, can ya tell us your name?” 

Unfortunately, I don’t remember what she said it was, but anyway… 

There were two random dogs there with us, and David said he wanted to meet Baxter.  I told him that Baxter was inside, I’d bring him out in a bit, and warned him that Baxter was gonna go wild.  New Neighbor said she’d seen him in the yard when new people showed up, and that he did, indeed, love people and would give them lots of kisses.

I began telling New Neighbor about the flowers and bushes Mom used to grow there. Gladiolus. Snowball bushes. The kinds of plants that used to be in everybody’s yard years ago. 

Then David pointed over near the steps and asked, “Did you pull it up?” 

“What?” 

“The donut bush.” 

Like that was a completely normal thing to say. 

He said, “I told Mom y’all would never have to buy donuts again with that donut bush out here.” 

And suddenly I remembered it too–a bush that grew plain cake donuts. 

No icing. No glaze. No sprinkles. Just regular cake donuts hanging from the branches in perfect circles with holes in the middle. 

And the strangest part was that in the dream, it made complete sense. 

I told him no, we would never have pulled up a donut bush. While I’m telling him this, I was thinking, wow, how did this plant grow round donuts with holes in the middle? My fascination wasn’t because it was a donut, but that it was round. With a hole in it. 

I said that there must have been something that happened to it outside of our control, because we’d never pull up a donut bush. 

There was more stuff to the dream, but this was what stood out the most. It felt familiar in a way I can’t explain. People from old seasons of life showing back up. Britni sitting peacefully in the sunshine. Gardening conversations. Dogs wandering around. Baxter inside the house waiting to come meet everybody because apparently even my subconscious knows he thinks every visitor exists specifically for him. 

All of It in One Yard

The whole thing felt like every version of my life got dropped into the same yard at once. 

Childhood.
Motherhood.
Caregiving.
Social media/content creating.
Old neighbors.
New people.
Plants my mom used to grow.
Dogs.

And a donut bush. 

Before Everything Had to Make Sense

Funny how that works. When you’re little, you just accept things. Of course there could be a donut bush. Of course people stop by unexpectedly. Of course everybody gathers in the yard. Of course somebody’s mom grows gladiolus by the steps. 

Maybe that’s why the dream stuck with me. Not because it “meant” something huge—it just reminded me that some of the best parts of life have never made complete sense in the first place. 

There are some things in life you protect because they fed something in you beyond hunger. 

Wonder. Comfort. Childhood. Magic. The feeling that ordinary places might still contain impossible things. 

This morning, just before Robbie left for work, I told him all about my dream. He laughed and said, “I love you. I’ll bring home some Entenmann’s.” 

Maybe we all need to hang onto a few dreams about pastry-producing shrubs every now and then—just to keep a little wonder alive. 

Photo of a shrub with cake donuts growing on it